Life with Coco and Gigi... and Jack-Jack too!

Life as a Mom, A Homesteader, A Blogger and A Wife.

Back Pain & Massage

For the past couple of days I have had the worst back pain I have ever experienced in my whole life. My lower back aches and my upper back throbs. I have tried Tylenol, stretching, exercise, pain patches, heat pad, massage chairs and NOTHING has helped. The only thing that helps at all is having Bry rub my back. He has been working morning, noon and night so I hate even asking him, but he has been such a dear. For Christmas Bry got me a gift card to the spa to get a massage. I have been waiting until I needed it so I finally called today. Thank goodness my massage therapist can get me in tomorrow. Now I just have to get through tonight.

The Nursery - Before

Here are a couple of pics of what the nursery looks like now. We have put the drawers together, but not a whole lot else. I am hoping to have some "after" pics really soon. We have so much to get done that we are hoping to get started soon.

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CHOP Appointment

I have finally heard back from CHOP about our appointment at the Center for Fetal Diagnosis and Treatment. Because they are the top rated children's hospital getting an appointment can be a real challenge. Instead of calling and making an appointment, they call you and give you a day to be there. If you want to be seen you really have to go on that day. So THIS FRIDAY I have to be there at 7am for a full day of testing. Here is the rundown of events for the day:

7am - Registration
7:30 am - MRI
9:00 am - Meet Clinical Coordinator
10:00am - Go to University of Pennsylvania for a Level II Ultrasound
3:00pm - Echo/Heart Study of the Babies
4:00pm - Meet with the perinatologist to go over the findings and where we go from there

Should be a long, tiring and interesting day. I am now a little nervous about the outcome, but I am very confident that Abby is going to be just fine. We know that everything might not be "perfect" but it doesn't really matter. We love her and her sister and that's all there is. So only a few more days now and we should know more.

21 Weeks

Our Babies: Week 21

Your baby measures about 7.6 inches (19cm) from crown to rump and weighs about 12.25 ounces (350g).

Eyebrows have developed.

His digestive system now functions in a rudimentary manner. Undigested amniotic fluid passes into his bowel which he will eventually excrete after birth. Your baby can suck and swallow and may even suck his thumb.

Your baby's senses are developing, especially his sense of touch. He can feel his face and stroke his arms and legs.

Multiples: The babies are kicking each other frequently as they move around. The membrane separating them is very very elastic so don't worry about them kicking each other. They are well protected and the membrane won't rupture from their activity.

Two of Everything

When I sit down and I think about having twins I am overwhelmed by the joy of having two daughters in my life. I spent 3 years hoping and praying that I would be blessed with one child and now I am lucky enough to be having two. Every once in a while I get overwhelmed by how in the heck to afford two children. Having a baby can be financially scarey, but two... way scarey. We are trying very hard to get some money saved, get some debts paid back and have enough for Bry to take a couple weeks of FMLA if I need him. Not sure how much of any of that is going to happen, but we'll try.

But, most of the time I think of all the wonderful things that we will get in twos. Double the smiles, double the "i love you mommies', double the babies to hug, two wonderful personalities, two of all the amazing things that parents get to experience. We rarely focus on what two teenage girls will be like or college or weddings. Instead we are going to enjoy the sheer joy of our girls and all that parenting twins has in store for us.

How I have been feeling

It is amazing how resilient Brian and I have become over the past few years. When we first heard about the problems that Abby has I thought my whole world was coming to an end. It felt like someone was taking something huge away from me and my pregnancy was not going to be the same. Yet here we are feeling so confident about the situation. We are still scared and nervous about what is to come. Yet, we both feel a great deal of peace that everything is going to turn out ok. Regardless of what they find or what happens she is our daughter. We already love her so NOTHING can change that now.

Every once in a while I think about the upcoming doctor appoinment or going to CHOP, but most of the time I forget about it altogether. Which is a great feeling. I have managed to stay calm and stay happy, which is best for my girls.

My Little Fishies

I have not had a whole lot of "strong" movement but it has gone from a very rare flutter to pretty frequent little taps and tickles. I often feel like I have someone resting their head on my belly from the inside. I keep putting my hand to my tummy to see if I can feel it from the outside, but not yet. It feels more like I have fishies swimming in my tummy than babies growing.

I am looking forward to them getting a little stronger so maybe Bry and the family can feel from the outside. I don't, however, want to push my luck cause I know that before too long I will probably feel like a title fight is happening in my belly. :>)

Looking Pregnant

I know for a lot of women being pregnant it a rough time where you have to watch your whole body get bigger and bigger. I feel like the complete opposite. I have managed to lose a little weight in my butt and legs and gain mostly in my tummy. I am sure that as my tummy expands so will the rest of me. But for right now I feel so pretty. I know it sounds kind of braggish, but I have always had mediocre body image. Being pregnant is the prettiest I have felt in years. I love my belly. I like the weight loss elsewehere. I am enjoying the attention (who the heck wouldn't). It also doesn't hurt that I have a doting husband who reminds me daily how beautiful I look and how much he loves me. I even feel like I am prettier in his eyes right now. He has always thought pregnant woman were lovely (I think it is that leftover evolutionary thing of pregnancy=fertility=passing on your genetics). I just feel lucky that instead of feeling fat and yucky, I feel pregnant and beautiful.

If only I could get rid of the morning sickness, heartburn and headaches... :>).

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20 Week Belly Pics

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20 Weeks

Our Babes at 20 Weeks:

Your baby weighs about 10.5 ounces (300g) and measures about 7.2 inches (18cm) from crown to rump. He still moves about freely in amniotic fluid.

Your baby may respond to external sounds, such as the music you are listening to or your voice.

Your baby has developed some red blood cells already. The white blood cells that your baby needs to fight infections are being manufactured.

He is developing taste buds on his tongue.

His digestive system is sufficiently advanced to absorb water and sugar from the amniotic fluid that he swallows and pass it to his large bowel.

Your baby has lanugo hair on his forehead and upper lip and his eyebrows are thickening.

Vernix (the waxy substance that covers and protects your baby's skin) accumulates on your baby's eyebrows.

Your baby's eyes are still sealed shut.

Your baby continues to grow and develop and his kicking is getting stronger now.

Names

I know we announced the girls names already, but we have officially decided on the complete names. The names are set at Grace Genevieve Fescoe (middle name after my niece). That one has been set for a while now. The second name is Abilgail Elizabeth Fescoe. We wanted to pick a family name for both middle names. We went back and forth on that one and decided on Elizabeth because it is Bry's Mom's middle name. So both girls have a nice family name. :>)

CHOP

So I spoke with the clinical coordinator at the Center for Fetal Diagnosis and Treatment at CHOP. We went through what the docs at Cooper found and what we would like to do from here. Based on the measurements I gave her of the dilation she guessed that we are dealing with a mild case (that was another relief). She gave me the option of either coming just for the MRI as a referral from my current peri or to refer myself and have a full work up. I decided to go with the whole shabang.

So that means that at the beginning of March we will spend a whole day at CHOP getting lots of tests. They will do a heart study, u/s and MRI. The peri will reviwe the info and then meet with us. Then we can start to lay out a plan. I am going to schedule that appointment after we have our next u/s at Cooper. That way if things did manage to clear themself up (which is always a small chance) we won't waste anyone's time.

I will keep you all posted on the progress.

The Nursery

I know I showed you guys the bedding but I thought I would lay out the plans for the nursery. We are planning on co-sleeping the girls for as long as we can. The research says that it reduces the chance of SIDS and they are naturally more comfortable that way. That being said we are going to set up both cribs so we don't get used to one and then feel cramped when the second one goes up. I figure we will make the unused crib the pretty crib with the comforter, bumper and all the stuff that can't safely be in the crib they sleep in. At least it will look pretty. Then the sleeping crib will just have sheets and dust ruffle. Much safer for SIDS.

We bought a nice big dresser for cloths that will have a changing pad on top: Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Then we bought a smaller dresser for blankets, towels, burp cloths, etc. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

We are hoping to get the glider and ottoman, but not sure if it will fit in our budget. We aren't going to paint, but my Mom might help me put up the matching border to our bedding set. Then we'll get a throw rug (cause we have wood floors) and other cute accessories. I am hoping to find some storage baskets and wall organizers. The more storage the better.

The nursery is going to be quite cramped, but at least that way we can keep a lot of the clutter in one room. I will make sure to post some pics as the room progresses.

General Update

I like reading other people's updates so I thought I would give another general update of my own. Here is how I am doing:

The morning sickness comes and goes. I feel a hell of a lot better than I did a month or two ago, but not quite myself. I hear people talk about how the second trimester is a time of energy and great hormones, but not for me. I am tired most days. I feel sick a few times throughout the day in waves. I also have terrible heartburn. I take stuff for it and limit what I eat and it still comes back.

My back hurts most of the time. I have a massage pad thingy that I use at home every day. I also have Brian rub my back almost every day. It helps, but the pain just comes back. Even stretching and exercise throughout the day isn't helping. The doc says to take Tylenol, but that is useless. This is probably my biggest complaint right now.

I have a teeny bit of swelling but nothing compared to what a lot of other multiples mommies get. I expect to have more of it as time goes on. I try to keep my feet elevated to try to avoid that routine.

I have to pee about 50 times a day. This can be tricky cause getting up and down off the sofa is already a PITA. I can only imagine the shape I will be in in a couple of months. :>) I generally wake up every two hours at night to pee. I think one of these girls decided that a bladder was a nice comfy place to set up shop.

My blood pressure has been holding stable. At the beginning of my pregnancy it was up around 140/90. Now it is back down to 115/75ish. They are keeping my on the Aldoment to try to avoid hypertension. Since there is such a high risk of pre-E with a twin pregnancy, I would like to put it off as long as I can.

Other than that I am hanging in there. I know that some people revel in the stages of pregnancy. I am just so excited (and ready) for the girls to be here. Come on summertime...

Happy Valentines Day!

I am not a huge Valentines Day person, but wanted to wish all of you a happy day. I hope that everyone out there has someone to spoil them rotten!

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P.S. For Valentines Day today, Brian made me a card from the babies. It was so cute with backward letters and all. How sweet is that?!?

Baby Bedding

Here is a pic of the baby bedding we have tenatively picked out. I haven't bought it yet since we are waiting to see what happens at the shower in a couple months. Who knows, I might break down and buy it before then though. ;>)

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Damn Morning Sickness

I was finally ready to post that the morning sickness has finally taken it's leave. Well, I guess I jinxed myself. Last night I was feeling ok and then out of nowhere the morning sickness swooped in and knocked me off my feet. I almost forgot how miserable it was. Of course I had taken my meds for the night so I puked them all up. (Gross, I know.) Then I had an empty stomach which is not a very good state when pregnant with two little monkeys. I was sick and STARVING. What a combination. Today has been a little better, but I am back on the Zofran again. Maybe next week will be the magic week of no more morning sickness.

The Mommy Test

I was out walking with my 4-year-old daughter. She picked up
something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took
the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my
daughter asked. "Because it's been on the ground, you don't know
where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At
this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and
asked, "Mommy, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart."
 
I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff.
It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you
be a Mommy." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minut es, but she
was evidently pondering this new information.

"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test, you
have to be the daddy."
"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face.

18 Week Belly Pics

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Our Daughters

I realized yesterday that I have not yet shared the names of our daughters. These names have been chosen for some time (we picked two boy names and two girl names, just in case). We have decided to name our girls Abigail and Grace. We have given the lower baby the name of Abby, she is baby A, so A for Abby. :>) The higher baby we have named Gracie.

Abby is our little one who is having some trouble with her growing brain. Thank you all for keeping both of the girls in your prayers.

My Rock(s)

When things like this happen I always have the same reaction. I spend the first day absolutely catastrophizing. I think the whole sky is falling and there is no hope in sight. The next day I get angry and frustrated. By day 3 I start to see whatever good there is to be had. As scared as I am, this has helped me to remember how many wonderful people I have in my life. I have my friends, I have all of you praying for me and supporting me. I have my family. My husbands parents who are there for us no matter what we need. My brother-in-law who knew exactly what to say to us. We have extended family who flooded us with e-mails of support, prayer and love. I have my sister, who thank God is in this field so she can provide us with the information we need. I have my parents. My Mom who is there for me every single day even for the mundane crap. But she goes through this 100% with me. When I cry she cries, when I get mad, so does she.

I also have my wonderful husband. He always tells me that I am his strength, his rock. The past two days have been such a stark reminder of how much he is just that for me. Although I am usually a very strong person, I folded under this pressure like a lawn chair. And yet he stood so strong through the entire thing. Not that he didn't shed a tear or get angry, but never wavered in his love for our daughters and me. His strength has pulled me through this pain and fear and brought me over to the side of hope, faith and optimism. I consider myself a very lucky woman to have him. I have absolutely no idea how I would have done this without my family and without my husband.

A Better Day

Well people, once again blogging has turned out to be a wonderful thing. The kind wors that some of you wrote have touched me in a way I cannot explain. The past 24 hours were sheer, agonizing torture. I have gone from feeling the lowest a person could feel wishing that God would just take me child and not let her suffer to feeling like she is going to be absolutely perfect no matter what anyone says. It has been a very bumpy ride, but with the support of my amazing husband, my family and all of you we have come so far in a short time.

We met with the OB today, I talked to my sister (who some of you know is an Obstetrical Physicians Assistant) and my Mom has ton a ton of internet research and what we are finding is that the doc we met with yesterday may have been painting us the bleakest picture possible. That perhaps our little girl has a shot at a perfectly normal life with typical development. We are starting to hear stories (even through this blog) of people in the same situation who have normal, healthy babies. We are deciding that we have to rely on faith that your daughter is going to be fine and this is all part of the plan.

Thank you all so much for your prayers, your support and your faith. We need it right now.

Todays Appointment

We are back from the hospital and things did not go very well today. We got a lot of info, so this will be a quick run-down, I am not feeling all that up to it. It turns out that Baby A has what they believe to be a birth defect. She has dilation between the 3rd and 4th ventricle. That is called Aqueductal Stenosis. She has small cerebellum lobes, which may be either the cause of or the effect of the overall problem. She also Ventriculomegoly, which is dilation of one of the ventricles. It should be less than 10mm and it is about 13mm.

The prognosis is not great, but very cloudy. The peri said it could be anything from developmental delays to more severe cognitive deficits. We got to the OB tomorrow, the peri in 4 weeks for another u/s. After that we will go to Children's Hospital in Philly for an MRI and to eventually meet with the neurologist and a pediatric neurosurgeon.

We are obviously at a complete loss right now. We have so much information, yet so very little. Termination is not an option, so we just have to wait and see how things will progress. I'll probably be absent for a while, but your prayers are very needed right now. I am a little angry at God, so it might help if others pick up some of my slack.

Appointment

Tomorrow (or officially today since it is after midnight) at noon we go to Cooper Hospital for an appointment with the perinatologist. They will do another ultrasound to check one of the girls brains to check on that dilated ventricle. I wish I could say that I wasn't nervous as all, but this is my daughter. I think this is just a part of parenting. If something might even remotely be wrong, I am going to worry. I fel very optimistic that everything is going to turn out ok and it is probably nothing, but I am going to worry until someone tells me so.

So twelve more hours to go... and counting.

Quad Screening Results

We did get some unexpected great news on Friday night. I got the mail and there was something from our OB's office. I had my Quad screening last week and I figured I would have to track down the results. I also had some fear that we might get some fuzzy findings. But, we got a letter saying that the results were all good and the girls are fine, at least for what the screening covers. That is one wonderful sigh of relief.

Ultrasound Pictures

The Girls:
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Baby A:
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Baby B:
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Girlie Parts:
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Results are in...

We had our ultrasound this afternoon at 1:30 and we got some good news and some so-so news. The good news is that the twinkies cooperated enough to let us get a nice long look between their legs. The ultrasound was very long and detailed and almost everything looked perfect.

The bad news is that for one of the babies they could not visualize one of the kidneys. The tech said that it might still be up in the pelvis and might be seen on the next ultrasound. If not, people can live without one kidney. Not a huge deal, BUT on the other baby there was some unexpected fluid in one of the ventricles of the brain. Unfortunately the peri was called out of the office so there was nothing they could do. The sonographer wasn't very good and DH and I both thought she was being overzealous. She seemed nervous about the fact that she was doing the u/s with no doctor present to look at any potential problems. She called the doc and the doc was not terribly upset about it. So, we go to the hospital on Monday to have our peri do a u/s and take a look at the brain. We are really, really hoping that it turns out to either be nothing or be something that will resolve on it's own. We are very nervous, but praying it is nothing.

The great news is that we now know what our babies are.

?
?
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It's
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?
A
?
?
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?
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and
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?
A
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Ultrasound Tomorrow

The big ultrasound is scheduled for tomorrow at 1:30. We have the u/s and then meet with the peri. I expect it will take at least and hour or more. I will post when I get back in. Hopefully we will know what colors to start doing the nursery. *Fingers Crossed*

Quad Screening

One of the tests that my OB likes to run in a high risk pregnancy is a Quad Screening. Here is what the American Pregnancy Association says about the test:

"The quad screen measures high and low levels of AFP, abnormal levels of hCG and estriol, and high levels of Inhibin-A. The results are combined with the mother's age and ethnicity in order to assess probabilities of potential genetic disorders.

High levels of AFP may suggest that the developing baby has a neural tube defect such as spina bifida or anencephaly. However, the most common reason for elevated AFP levels is inaccurate dating of the pregnancy.

Low levels of AFP and abnormal levels of hCG and estriol may indicate that the developing baby has Trisomy 21(Down syndrome), Trisomy 18 (Edwards Syndrome) or another type of chromosome abnormality."

I had the blood drawn last week and it takes a little while for the results to come in. Now the problem with this test is that there is a significant risk of a false positive, especially in the case of a twin pregnancy. I read that when you get a positive result as many as 80% of those cases are false. So now I am starting to get nervous of getting a positive and then being stressed out about it. I am glad I know about risk of false positives so I can remind myself that even if it is positive, probably nothing is wrong. I just hate going back to the worrying stage.

Us

Us

About this blog

Over 8 years we have struggled through 3 IUI's, 6 rounds of IVF, several RE's, hundreds of appointments and the loss of three little angels. Now we find ourselves the proud parents of two perfect little girls and a wonderful little boy!!

Both of our girls struggle with some disabilities but that won't keep us down. Each day has it's own brand of insanity but we love it. Most days I am more monkey wrangler than mother but I do the best I can. Todays goal - getting to tomorrow.

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